Monday, August 16, 2010


I don't necessarily stalk people on Facebook. I generally lose interest in people who know me and don't continually talk to me. What I have noticed myself to do though is click on friends of friends of friends who I have never met and will never meet and then look through their pictures. This brings me to my main point: I HATE BABIES. Man I hate babies. I realize our baby-worship is only an outward symptom of our deeply religiocentric history, but I feel like our generation might be at least vocal enough about their distaste for babies to get people to stop plastering pictures of their wrinkly newborns all over their pages that I am for some reason looking at. Why are you proud of that? There's a reason abortion clinics exist: ANYONE CAN HAVE A BABY. People have babies on accident. In fact I'm pretty proud that I haven't had a baby. And what's all this "Oh that's a cute baby" nonsense? All babies look the same. I just googled "ugly baby" and apart from the silly photoshopped freak-baby pictures, the regular ol' ugly human babies looked exactly like standard "cute" babies to me. Whatever, humanity.

While we're being superficial...
In the wake of the 2010 ICP Gathering and the Tila Tequila debacle (yes, I pay attention to F-list celebrity news sometimes) I am revisiting my light obsession with Juggalos. Being a reasonable and fair-minded person, I made myself sit through an entire half of an Insane Clown Posse song before turning it off, so I can at least safely distance myself from the "ick" of actually liking the stuff, and chock this one up to pure America The Trainwreck people-watching. Juggalos, in my opinion, have usurped the retards on COPS as the #1 reason the death penalty should be embraced nationwide. When are we, as a race, going to look at ourselves and realize that the continued reproduction of Juggalos is not enhancing the gene pool? Our compassion, our humanity, is going to be the very thing that destroys us. On a side note, I do have to respect the Faygo company for having the decency not to officially associate itself with the ICP in spite of the fact that they probably owe most of their last decade's worth of revenue to Juggalos.

The point, though, is this: someone show me a picture of a hot Juggalo. Seriously. Try and find one.