Thursday, September 16, 2010

Dear Fire Trucks,

I realize that the reason you need to be so loud is because you are so big. I do not, however, know the reason you need to be so big.

If cities didn't have fire hydrants, I could understand that you would need your ear-splitting, gut-rumbling 56-cylinder engine (or whatever) to quickly carry hundreds of gallons of water to the site of a fire.

In a world where modern technology hadn't rendered ladders extremely collapsible and compact, and firehoses capable of being folded and coiled to the point of being almost nonexistent when not in use, I might see a reason for you to be sixty feet long and weigh 9 million pounds.

If the majority of emergency calls came from halfway up Mt. Rainier and not down nicely-paved city streets, I could even let the logic behind your behemoth off-roading wheels slide.

If this weren't the richest country in the universe, maybe we couldn't afford to develop the technology to suitably dampen the racket produced by our state-of-the-art, top-of-the-line response vehicles.

But since all of these scenarios were just made up by me, Fire Trucks, perhaps you could stay in tonight so I can enjoy having the windows open. It's nice out and you're ruining it for me. We have plenty of buildings. Let a few of 'em go. I can't hear the movie I'm watching.


1 comment:

  1. Take comfort in the fact that should there be a fire in your apartment, the fire department could probably get to you in a decent amount of time.

    I'm pretty sure if our house caught on fire and we called the Boone Fire Dept., they'd tell us they don't come that far out of town and that fires pretty much put themselves out.